Archive for the ‘Coaching’ Category

Change Happens

Tuesday, March 3rd, 2009

Yesterday’s Youth4Youth Ultimate Leadership Training (ULT) left me in awe once again. There is this inner joy as the process unfolds - surreal many times.

 I usually put the training segments in place two days before; I pick and choose what segments feel right for the day. I used to wonder why I picked certain exercises but have come to accept rather than question the purpose. That’s where the awe or surreal part comes into play, as the exercises selected are perfect for connecting enough dots to create a clear picture. The picture becomes clear, they get it and I can step back as their process begins to unfold. The best part is when you see teens and preteens make the shift to become young adults and take responsibility for themselves and being the difference in the world around them. I become filled with feelings of excitement and pride. Excited about the future for each student and pride in each of them, as they expand their comfort zone, use their creativity, imagination and talent to create a vision of the future and begin to take action. 

Tags: , , , , , ,
Posted in Character, Coaching, Education, Goal Setting, Leadership, Lifeskills, Motivation, Self Esteem, Self Growth, Self-esteem, Teambuilding, Teamwork, Uncategorized, Youth Programs, teen, youth | No Comments »

Broken Trust Takes Time to Heal and Regain

Friday, February 27th, 2009

Did you know your parents, teachers and other adults want to trust you? As a high school freshman, Reese decided to take advantage of it. But it wasn’t always that way.

In 7th grade, Reese learned some hard lessons about trust. “It started out with simple things. When I didn’t do my homework, I would copy someone else’s. I would tell my mom I had my homework done so I could get her off my back,” says Reese. “My parents didn’t want me to hang around my friend Jason because they thought he was what they called a “bad influence,” but they really didn’t know him. So I would lie about where I was and who I was with.”

 ”At first, I thought it was cool. I was getting away with something. They believed and trusted me. But one day, my mom saw me with Jason at the mall and a few days later I was supposed to be studying with Sam and Rebecca and my mom found me at Jason’s house.” Reese also got caught cheating on a test and then his teacher started to look at his homework and realized he was copying from others.

 Something that really bothered Reese was when he got caught in a neighbor’s garage. Mr. Simmons garage was broken into last month and now he thinks Reese had something to do with it. Reese says, “All I was doing was borrowing a hammer.” But that didn’t matter, trust was broken and sometimes trust cannot be gained back. Three years later Mr. Simmons still does not trust or talk to Reese.

 ”By 8th grade I had the reputation of not being trustworthy,” says Reese. “Adults were always on his back, always checking on him and not believing him. They were always suspicious even when he was telling the truth.”

By the end 8th grade Reese had learned that:

1.      Once trust is broken it is hard to earn it back

2.      You develop a reputation for being trustworthy

3.      Trust is earned over a period of time

4.      Sometimes trust cannot be repaired or gained back

 As a freshman in high school Reese realized his parents, teachers and adults wanted to trust him. So he decided to take advantage of all the opportunities they gave him to develop trust and found being honest in everything and doing his own work in school was easier than lying and cheating. Reese now enjoys many extra freedoms at school and at home and has the reputation of being trustworthy. Most importantly, Reese has self-confidence and self-respect. 

Here are the five ways Reese built trust: 

  1. Be honest - start with the truth
  2. Follow the rules & keep your word
  3. Do your own work and ask questions when you need help
  4. Standup for your beliefs
  5. Apologize when you make a mistake.

Discussion Questions

  1. What ways do your parents give you to develop trust?
  2. How can you show your teachers you are trustworthy?
  3. How do other students know you are trustworthy?
  4. What is one way you can become trustworthier? 

Larry Tracey, writer of this article, is an author and founder of Youth4Youth, which teaches success, leadership,  honesty and trust by promoting school safety by treating everyone with respect. His latest book, The Secret of the Can, is available at www.TheSecretOfTheCan.com

If you or someone you know is interested in teen or parent coaching visit www.larrytracey.com/coaching and request information.

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Character, Coaching, Education, Family, Parenting, Self-esteem, Uncategorized, teen, youth | No Comments »

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

Sunday, February 8th, 2009

Hey Kids! Have you ever been in a situation where you’re playing a video game and the thought hits you…I have homework and a test to study for? You know what you should do - but you make a decision to keep playing because you want to beat the game. So you tell yourself, “Only 10-minutes more.” 10-minutes turns into two-hours and before you know it, you’re back in school unprepared for the test and without your homework for your next class. You squeak by with a D on the test and tell yourself, “I’m glad it wasn’t an F, at least I passed.” As for the homework, “Well, I’ll just have to make sure I don’t miss anymore assignments.” We all know how that goes!

Decisions, decisions! How many decisions will you make today? Try counting them and you will soon discover you are constantly making decisions; hundreds if not thousands each day; should I get up, what do I wear today, what will I eat, shower or wash my face and that’s only the beginning.

How does someone become a good decision-maker? It’s simple! Start making decisions. Decision-Making is a skill; it’s like a muscle, the more you use it, the stronger it becomes. The best part is it increases your self-esteem and self-confidence. You develop pride in yourself and gain more respect & trust from your peers and adults. You begin to make bigger decisions that take you faster and further in life. The best part is - anyone can do it! 

Decision-making Tips

1.) Make a decision to develop a daily routine.

This decision helps you get each day off to a good start. If you prepare the night before you will end your day as a winner and be ready for a good start in the morning. 

2.) Put yourself in situations where you have to make decisions.

Make a decision to become involved with clubs or organizations in your school, church or community. You will learn both decision-making and leadership skills. Note: When you first join a club or organization it is normal to feel uncomfortable. Step out of your comfort zone. Years from now you will look back and say, “That was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made!” For more on youth leadership and decision-making visit www.youth4youth.org

3.) Ask a trusted adult or role model for advice.

Adults will help you consider things you never thought about because of their life experiences. Take their insight and use it to help make the best decision. Who are the adults in your life that can help you look at your options in different situations? 

4.) Decide who you will be as a person.

Who you are is your character and it is based on your morals and beliefs. As we mature, we learn to gather facts and knowledge and include that information in our decision-making. There are times when we will find the best decision may not always be the most popular one or one I like, but it may very well be the best decision. When in question about a decision, “Listen with your heart.”   

Larry Tracey is founder of Youth4Youth, an author, parent and teen coach and trainer who teaches success, leadership and decision making skills. Members of Youth4Youth believe each student has the potential to be successful and work to create environments in which all students are given the opportunity to discover and begin development of their potential. Contact Larry Tracey at success@youth4youth.org

Tags: , , , , , ,
Posted in Character, Coaching, Education, Leadership, Lifeskills, Self Development, Self Esteem, Self-esteem, Uncategorized, teen, youth | No Comments »

Leadership Tip 17: Invest Attention Units Wisely

Thursday, February 5th, 2009

On any given day there are countless people and activities trying to get our time and attention. We are bombarded by information from cell phones, text messaging, television, I-pods, emails and more. All are constantly seeking to capture their share of our attention units. Let’s add this into the daily mix of your mental “to do” list; school, friends, extracurricular school activities, studying and a job. All of a sudden you are on overload. Sound familiar?

 Oops, I almost forgot…what about all those things you haven’t finished. We call those “incompletes.” You know, that person you said you’d call or text right back and you’ve forgotten. Or school projects you have to finish or have put-off due to lack of time or urgency. These things add up by consuming all your attention units, daily.

Imagine if you were able to focus most of your attention units on your dreams and direction in life! You had the habit of not getting distracted by the drama of life. You had “confidence in” rather than “worry about” the future or the past and you had such an exciting day today that you can hardly wait until tomorrow. Creating the habit of investing your Attention Units wisely will help make those dreams come true, quicker and easier.

 Let’s start with the basics: An attention unit is your ability to remember and keep information in the forefront of your mind. Think of it as the storage capacity of a computer data stick. You only have the capacity to hold so much “stuff,” so a lot of important information gets lost or misplaced. The results are forgotten assignments, missed deadlines, broken promises and agreements, feelings of frustration, guilt, self-doubt and “if only I would have.”

 The Facts:

1.      There are only 24-hours in a day. (This will never change - don’t invest time wishing it were different.)

 2.      Attention Units - we only have so many. The idea here is to free up as many as possible each day to allow you to reach you maximum potential on any given day. (i.e. the more I get done in my 24 hours)

 So what’s the answer? Develop habit patterns that work to support your success. In this case the same old same old is a great thing. Make it work to your advantage as you develop habits that will make your success inevitable.

Being organized is the most effective habit to begin with. In starting, place your attention units here.

 Here are some quick tips that will help you stay focused, do more and be more.

 1. Develop systems to keep organized.

A system is a habit of always doing the same thing the same way. Always put your books in the same place. Always put your homework in the same place. Here are a few other areas to develop habits to stay organized: locker, sports bag, book bag, desk, bedroom, study area, laundry and dirty clothes, dresser and the inside of your car.

 2. Plan tomorrow the night before.

Know what you are going to wear the night before. Know what you have to do tomorrow. What commitments do you have? Review tomorrow in your mind just before you fall asleep and see yourself being successful in everything you do.

 3.      Develop the habit of using a daily planner.

Most schools now have Agendas for each student. Learn to use this great tool. Learning to use this tool effectively frees up so many attention units that it’s unreal.

 4.      Develop the habit of writing down assignments and always taking notes.

Add commitments you make to others and yourself. Always know where your agenda is and keep it with you most of the time.

  Speed Tips For Getting Started and Successful Results:

First, do a major cleaning of your world - locker, sports bag, bedroom, study area, laundry and dirty clothes, dresser and the inside of your car.

 Create a daily checklist to make these habits a part of your life. Before long you will notice your attention units are now focused on your dreams and direction in life. Remember, it takes 30 consecutive days of doing something before it becomes a part of your unconscious habit pattern. (The key word here is consecutive.)

 Oh, I almost forgot! Rumors and gossip, worrying and putting things off - are all wasted attention units that hold you back in life. I know, no one’s perfect and some days we all get distracted by the drama of life. Make a commitment to yourself to not get distracted too long!

 If you have a question or comment email: AttentionUnits@youth4youth.org

PS. The world rewards action! What is one action step you will take right now?       © 2008 Larry Tracey All Rights Reserved

Larry Tracey is founder of Youth4Youth, an author, keynote speaker and trainer who teaches success and leadership life skills. Members of Youth4Youth believe each student has the potential to be successful and work to create environments in which all students are given the opportunity to discover and begin development of their potential. Contact Larry Tracey by email: success@youth4youth.org 

 

Tags: , , , , , ,
Posted in Coaching, Education, Leadership, Lifeskills, Parenting, Personal Development, Self Development, Self Growth, Self-esteem, Uncategorized, success, teen, youth | No Comments »

Basketball and Life Skills

Monday, January 26th, 2009

Head coach of Covenant girls basketball team FIRED. Wow! Teaching the qualities of integrity, heart, ability, honor and teamwork can be tough. Beating another team 100-0. Many people are divided on this. Is everyone looking at the poor me syndrome – “Look at these poor girls who got beat or were they victims of defeat” I know when I get my butt kicked there is a lot of personal growth in it. What is your opinion? If you were either team – what would be your thoughts and feelings and reasons why?

Larry Tracey is founder of Youth4Youth, an author, keynote speaker and trainer who teaches success and leadership skills promoting school safety by treating everyone with respect. Contact Larry Tracey at 216-410-4307 or email success@youth4youth.org

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Character, Coaching, Education, Family, Personal Development, Self Esteem, Self Growth, Sports, Teambuilding, success, teen, youth | 1 Comment »

How to Make Life Fair

Friday, January 16th, 2009

My grandmother was always about fairness. When people would say, “That’s not fair, life’s not fair,” she would look at us smile and wink. Mom, as we called her, saw life differently. She would always say, “The more a person tries, the more fair life becomes. You can go through life complaining about things or you can do something about it.” 

 

Her favorite saying was “Be fair to yourself.” Her favorite question was “Are you being fair to yourself?” It was a great way to get her point across without preaching.

 

When I didn’t understand my math homework, I became frustrated, threw my pencil down and quit. Mom would say, “Be fair to yourself: when you don’t understand something…ask a question.” I asked and I became very good at math.

 

When I couldn’t make a basket because the basketball hoop was too high, Mom would say “Be fair to yourself; give yourself a chance to become good.” I became good and in sixth grade I played on the eighth grade team and we won the CYO Championship.

 

When I started playing little league baseball I would always strike out and spend most of the game on the bench. Mom would say, “Be fair to yourself; give yourself a chance to improve.” I improved and became very good at getting on base. I became a great coach and understood that fairness was to help kids learn and encourage them to continue trying.

 

Year’s ago my grandmother’s had her Fav Five

Be fair to yourself; ask questions.

Be fair to yourself; try something more than once.

Be fair to yourself; believe you can do it.

Be fair to yourself; do not give up.

Be fair to yourself and you will know how to be fair to others.

 

Be fair to yourself and give yourself a chance to be all you can be, at math, as an artist, reader, writer, athlete, friend, parent or teacher.

 

At the end of a recent Youth4Youth Student Leadership Training, a student shared because of knowing the information we learned, she would have an unfair advantage over others in school and she felt that wasn’t right. I realized at that moment, sometimes we tend to hold ourselves back in the name of, or what we perceive fairness to be. I asked her, “Would it be fair if you returned to school and did not use the skills you learned today to make your school a better place?” In that moment she saw the strength of fairness and we closed our leadership training by reading the following:

 

A Leader’s Call to Fairness

When fairness calls for me to stand-up or speak-up for another,

it allows me to show true strength.

 

When fairness calls for me to listen to someone’s different point of view,

it allows me to understand.

 

When fairness calls for me to decide what I believe in,

it allows me to lead with passion.

 

When fairness calls for me to have a vision;

it allows me to have direction.

 

When fairness calls for me to see the potential in someone else;

it allows me to encourage them.

 

When fairness calls for me to play fair,

it allows me to be proud of accomplishments.

 

When fairness calls for me to think things through,

it allows me to see all life’s possibilities.

 

When fairness calls for me to tell the truth,

it allows me to live freely.

 

When fairness calls for me to follow my heart,

it allows me to do the right thing.

 My grandmother was about fairness. She taught me the more I tried, the more fair life became. © 2008 Larry Tracey All Rights Reserved 

 

Larry Tracey is founder of Youth4Youth, which teaches success, leadership and promotes school safety by treating everyone with respect. For Ultimate Leadership Training for your school or organization contact Larry Tracey at 216-410-4307 or email.

Tags: , , , , ,
Posted in Character, Coaching, Goal Setting, Inspiration, Leadership, Lifeskills, Motivation, Parenting, Personal Development, Self Development, Self Esteem, Self Growth, Self-esteem, Uncategorized, teen, youth | 1 Comment »